“You’ve got to know your language to understand your culture.”

—Beatrice Taylor, Ojibwe

I did not realize the challenge I would face in raising my children in a foreign country to know their language. After all, my own parents raised me in Thailand and my first language is Hindi. Yet when it came to my own children, I struggled. Times are different and we live in an increasingly globalized world where English is often the primary mode of communication. I came to see that raising my boys to know Hindi while living outside of India would not be an easy task. I constantly face hurdles but by investing time, effort, and dedication to the cause, I believe it is possible.

Why do I care so much about my children knowing their mother tongue? To me, language is power. And knowing one’s mother tongue is even more powerful. I’ve seen it from my own experience. Knowing Hindi has connected me to my roots and culture, builds bridges with family that still live in India, instantly removes barriers between others who also speak the same language, and helps me understand our cultural contexts.

On the occasion of International Mother Language Day (February 21), I wanted to share how I try to cultivate a love, knowledge, and appreciation of Hindi in my children despite living outside of India.

The lesson I learned that started it all

Up until age 2, both my boys spoke only in Hindi because of me speaking exclusively in Hindi to them. I felt very proud of that! But upon starting preschool, their world expanded beyond me. Within 2 months, I noticed that they had stopped speaking and replying in Hindi and had begun to speak mostly in English. I was taken aback by the swiftness by which my efforts of two years had been displaced.

We live in a place where the primary mode of instruction in school and communication in everyday life is in English. The two people with whom our children are mostly likely to be spending a sizeable chunk of the day (especially if you are a working parent) are the teacher and nanny, both of whom speak in English in Singapore. There is no natural exposure to mother tongue beyond what the parent teaches at home. I realized that I would need to step up my efforts.

Mindset

Having the right mindset helped to set more realistic expectations from my children. Once I let go of the fact that my children should speak in Hindi like a native, this whole process became less burdensome and more fun!

Number 1: It’s okay if they speak with an accent! Get over the fact that they should sound like a person from India speaking in Hindi (or Gujrati, Tamil, Telugu, or whatever). The environment and surroundings are totally different so it’s not a level playing field. What’s important is that they KNOW it and can SPEAK it at all.

Number 2: I don’t expect my children to know formal spoken Hindi or written Hindi. To me, it’s more about fluency in the everyday spoken language which most people would converse in. 

Things that you can do with your children

Speak in your language to your children everyday as much as possible (if not always): This is the most important and vital thing you can do. If it’s not possible for both parents to do so, have one parent be the point person to speak in the mother tongue to the children.

Have them speak back to you: I set aside time every day to speak in Hindi with my children. Every night before bedtime, I sit with Krishnav and ask him about his day, how school went, and other general things. The only thing is, we do it in Hindi. By allocating a specific time where we speak only in Hindi (10 mins to start with and build up over time), we make it more approachable and doable. It also helps to slowly build confidence in Krishnav speaking the language.

Books, books, books: There is a small (but growing) number of bilingual and South Asian cultural storybooks that cater to our generation of moms and kids. In our home library, we have a collection of books from T4Tales, Indigrow, Tulika Books, Toka Box, and Meet Buckley. Also check out Mango and Marigolds Press, an independent publisher for South Asian children's books. One of their most recent releases was Bindiya in India by author Monique Chheda which weaves Hindi and English words together in a sweet story about a girl who visits India for the first time. Hindi by Reena is another source of Hindi language as a first step for young children. 

Sing and play songs in your language: It can be nursery rhymes or songs in general. We play (and dance to) a lot of Bollywood music in our house! Make a playlist of songs which you can play instantly without having to think about it (Hello Jio Saavn app!)

Tell stories in your mother tongue: I often relate silly animal stories in Hindi to Arjun, literally making it up as I go along. If you are a parent who doesn’t speak fluently in Hindi yourself, you can still do this because the kids love these stories delivered in a simple understandable way.

Kid-appropriate cartoons and movies: There are several of them out there, like Chota Bheem, Little Singham, Ramayan, and Mahabharat. Sometimes we even play Peppa Pig in Hindi (yes that does exist, just look it up in YouTube).

Enlist the help of others: Invite grandparents, friends, an aunty, or language tutor to come into your home to speak in Hindi with your child more often. This can be in a formalized setting or less structured - whatever you choose, the intent is to give your children more exposure and opportunity to speak in their language. On a similar note, consider a nanny who speaks in the same home language as you. I know it sounds odd but it greatly increases the chances of your child being able to speak in the language in question. This is because beyond us parents, our children also spend a significant amount of time with their nannies. (We don’t have a Hindi-speaking nanny but I have observed several instances where this has factored into a child being able to speak their mother tongue more fluently).

Language classes: This setup provides language learning in a more formalized setting. Krishnav has been going to Hindi classes for 3 years now. I find that he picks up certain things better in a classroom compared to unstructured learning at home. He's also learning reading and writing which, for me, is an added bonus.

It might feel like a losing battle on some days but there are enough times when my kids pleasantly surprise me. Both boys understand Hindi 100% which I think is a win already. When prompted, both can express themselves in Hindi well enough (though they prefer to speak in English as default mode). Krishnav sometimes writes words and short stories in Hindi!

So my advice is: keep at it! There will be a payoff someday and it will be so worth it.

I get asked a lot about how I introduced cultural and religious stories to Krishnav. My answer is, I had always intended to teach my son about our culture and heritage through the Ramayan and Mahabharat epics and other mythological stories*. However, how it happened was completely organic.

One night, when Krishnav was about 3.5 years old, he asked his Papa to tell him a bedtime story. My husband decided to give Krishnav his first teaser of one of our epic stories, the Mahabharat. He shared a bite-sized story from the larger storyline, telling him about the five young Pandav brothers and their guru, Drona, and the famous story of shooting the bird on the tree with a bow & arrow. There was a lesson in there too, about how complete focus and concentration upon your goals will lead you to achieving them. That night began the first of many nights where Krishnav became increasingly spellbound with the Mahabharat and demanded to hear more and more. Soon, we moved to the Ramayan which further captured his imagination. Before age 4, he was singing the entire Hanuman Chalisa at least 5 times a day (to the point where we had to ask him to stop singing it because we could hardly hear ourselves think!). What's more, he began rounding up his friends in the playground every evening to act out scenes from the stories. Care to be part of the Vanar Sena anyone? By the time I was pregnant with my second one, there was almost no point in refuting Krishnav's proclamation that his baby brother-to-be would be named Arjun. :)

As a parent who wishes to share stories on religion and mythology to your little ones, my advice would be: don’t feel like you have to know everything to begin with. Whatever little you know and pass down to your children is a great start towards creating a sense of connection to one’s roots and cultural heritage. If you are thinking about how to start on this journey, here are some suggestions:

1. Get a headstart for yourself first. As I mentioned earlier, don’t feel like you need to be the authority on this topic. But if you prefer to brush up on your own knowledge about the stories before you can talk to your child, seek out the right resources...or it’s not the worst thing if you read and learn along with your kids, right?

2. Baby steps. Begin by sharing small, bite-sized stories from the bigger story arc which are age-appropriate and relatable to the kids. This will spark their initial curiosity without overwhelming them with the full, complex storylines. Over time, you can add more stories to feed their interest. For example, tell the story of Eklavya. Or how Arjun won the swyamvar of Draupadi by shooting the arrow through the fish’s eye. Or the stories of Bal Krishna. Endless little stories to tell!

3. Take the opportunity to share a lesson or a takeaway from the stories you tell, no matter how small. Importantly, keep it relevant to our modern times. Stories like the Ramayan and Mahabharat are works of literature that portray the conflict between good and evil and the various facets of human emotions and character such as love, loyalty, anger, pride, and jealousy. In many ways, the stories are as relevant in today’s age. It’s how you choose to present it to your child in an engaging and relatable way. As an example, here is a good read about what your child can learn from the Ramayan.

4. Focus on verbal storytelling to start with. There is a huge power of verbal storytelling and, in our case, was the most effective in drawing Krishnav into the rich, fascinating story threads. My husband and I shared whatever we had remembered from our own childhood memories of these stories. For example, we would talk about certain characters (Do you know about Ravan’s sleepy giant of a brother, Kumbhkaran? Let me tell you…) or side stories (Do you know how Abhimanyu knew how to break into the chakraview during the Battle of Kurukshetra?) during car rides, over meal times, or as part of bedtime.

5. Besides verbal storytelling, opt for books on Hindu mythology over videos. I have a collection of about 30 books from the classic Amar Chitra Katha collection from my school days. Sadly, I realized they are not appropriate for very young kids. Also, I don't think you need to show any videos on this topic initially (in fact, with a few exceptions, I find many cartoons and movies of this genre to be quite violent in depiction for the younger age groups). Luckily, there is an increasing number of children’s books and materials that cater to the toddlers and preschoolers.

To name a few:

• Meet My Hindu Gods by Desi Babies (Reena Puri, Mital Telhan): A great introduction to your toddler or preschooler to the Hindu gods and goddesses
• Kahaani Puraani by t4tales (Pridhee and Alicia Souza): A beautiful boardbook on the Ramayan story for toddlers and up
• Amma Tell Me series by Bhakti Mathur
• Ganesha’s Sweet Tooth by Emily Haynes and Sanjay Patel: A funny retelling with a twist of how Ganesh came to write the Mahabharat)
• Collection of books by Swamini Supriyananda. Examples include: Mata Mama & Me, Go Hanuman! Go!, Ganesha’s Mousecapade
• Toka Box has also provided some great resources and links to additional books on the Hindu epics: 
• 14 Amazing Children's Books on the Ramayana
• The Boys Who Fought | The Mahabharata for Children
• Not a book but learning materials from Jai Jai Hooray: The Goddess Power Tower which teaches about the iconic Hindu goddesses and the Hindu deity flash cards
• Not a book but an app which you can use to teach about Hindu gods on-the-go: The Jai Jais

6. If possible, enlist the help of grandparents or your neighborhood elders. These are your sources with bountiful knowledge to impart on our culture and traditions. Giving where credit is due, both sets of our paternal and maternal grandparents played a huge role in drawing Krishnav into stories on Hindu gods, teaching him about our festivals and their importance, learning prayers, etc. Indeed, the grandparents have played a key part in our children’s religious and cultural upbringing.

7. Visit temples not just for worship but also for bringing the stories to life. You’ll find that temples often feature carvings and murals on walls/ceilings, depicting scenes from familiar mythological stories. Indeed, they serve to parallel what the children might have learned from you at home. I remember how Krishnav was so keenly interested to see the figures of the different avatars of Vishu carved on the side of one temple wall in Singapore. So yes, temple visits can be fun learning for the kids!

Srinivasa Perumal Temple in Singapore

8. Classes? You may consider putting your child in Balvihar/ Balvikas classes if you really wanted to formalize the teachings. We didn’t do this for Krishnav but it is an option. It’s not difficult to find such classes being run in most big cities.

(*Admittedly, I struggle a bit with using the term “mythology" when referring to our Hindu epics, Mahabharat and Ramayan. This is a controversial topic as many believe that these stories are based on real life occurrences whereas others believe they are meant to convey religious teachings and lessons and hence are myths. For the sake of simplicity, I will use these terms interchangeably with the hope that it doesn’t offend anyone’s sensibilities).

Do you ever feel like the more globalized we become in our world, the more distant we seem to get from our roots and culture? Growing up in Thailand, I have fond memories of reading Amar Chitra Katha (tales of Indian mythology) and listening with rapt attention to the epic stories of the Ramayan and Mahabharat as told by my mother. Our cultural stories, whether they were gleaned off books or recited verbally, were the key that transported me to another world and time. I may not have realized it at that age but these stories and mythologies cultivated in me an awareness and an appreciation of for rich cultural values, religion, and heritage.

Fast forward decades later...Living in Singapore now, I try to make a conscious effort to keep my own son in touch with his Indian language, culture and heritage. Among the many ways I do so is through the power and magic of books. I've acquired a mini-collection of storybooks by Indian authors who are attempting to bring the same stories that we grew up with in a fun, vibrant, and more relatable way for younger children. Below are some of my top picks of Indian cultural storybooks for kids (age range 3+).

1. Meet My Hindu Gods by Reena Puri and Mital Telhan: This book is among my faves! It serves as a great introductory book to the Hindu gods for the little ones (toddlers/preschoolers). I have to commend the book for its adorable illustrations of Hindu gods and its simplistic yet meaningful description of what each god represents. Krishna, Ganesh, Hanuman, Saraswati, Ram & Sita... they're all there! Do check out desibabiesonline.com to learn more about how to get the book along with other fun stuff, such as My First Indian Coloring Book (I have that too!). For all our Singapore readers and friends: The authors Reena and Mital were kind enough to offer a heavy discount shipping rate to Singapore so please do contact me if you're interested! 

2. Hurray for Diwali by Anita Raina Thapan: My 3.5 year old has made me read this book so many times that he can almost recite the book by heart. The book gives me nostalgia of my own childhood memories of Diwali, capturing the excitement of lighting firecrackers and receiving sweets and gifts on this special festival. At the same time, the book reminds us of the importance of family and of sharing & giving on this occasion. I would say this book is appropriate for ages 3 and up.

3. Ganesha's Sweet Tooth by Sanjay Patel and Emily Haynes: Bright, eye-catching colors leap off the page in this zany book that relates the story of how Ganesha broke his tusk and eventually came to write the epic story of the Mahabharat. The book isn't entirely based on the original mythology as the authors lend their own twist to the story. Funny and entertaining for sure! This book is suitable for preschoolers up to those in grade 3.

4. Little Hanuman by Anita Raina Thapan: Another book by the same author as Hurray for Diwali, this one retells the story of little Hanuman. As the son of the Wind God Vayu, he used his might and powers for playful and naughty tricks as a child (remember the story about how he ate the sun thinking it was a juicy mango?). My son thoroughly enjoys listening to the funny antics of little Hanuman described in the book. Ultimately, the book connects the story back to how little Hanuman eventually grew up to become the greatest devotee of Ram. Appropriate for ages 3 and up.

5. Amma Tell Me series by Bhakti Mathur: The author decided to create this book series when she struggled to find books on Hindu mythology and festivals for her own children. While I only have one of the books from the series (on Hanuman), there are several more on the different Hindu festivals and Hindu gods. The book is suitable for children ages 3-9.

What are your favorite Indian storybooks for your children? Please do share, I would love to know!