Parenting in the Digital Age
Digital technology surrounds us and is part of our daily lives. Learning how to use it wisely is an essential skill for life and learning in these times. As parents, we sometimes don’t feel equipped to support our child’s journey and worry about their use of technology. Which controls should we put in place? How much screen time is too much? What kind of conversations should we have with them?
In this blogpost, I will share some of the learnings I’ve gained recently from my own research and at a recent workshop I attended on this topic.
Mindset Shift: Not all screen time is the same.
Most of us reading this are probably of the generation where our first ever home-owned computer, the Internet, and smartphones entered our lives when we were older. Since then, technology has evolved by leaps and bounds. We are finding ourselves raising children in a generation where technology is integrated into their daily lives from an extremely young age. It’s a bit scary being in this position because, as parents we’re still “figuring things out as we go”. On top of that, we mostly hear the negative effects of screen time, social media, and use of technology in the news.First, we need to change our own thinking around screen time. Recognize that not all screen time consumption is the same. There are different types of screen time:
- Passive: watching TV
- Interactive: playing videogames, interactive educational apps, browsing the Internet or using social media
- Communicative: communicating with the real world through your device, such as video-chatting
- Content creation: using devices to make digital art or music
All this is to highlight the following: How our children use technology is highly context dependent and not all screen time is bad! An hour of watching YouTube videos is not the same as an hour spent designing digital art. :)
Parenting Approaches
There are different approaches to parenting with regards to use of digital devices at home. Given the scope of this post, I will not delve too much into this and will instead share this link for further reference.
My own personal opinion is that it is impractical to eliminate or minimize use of technology in this day and age. It’s all about finding the right balance and following it in a consistent manner so that we don't send confusing signals to our children. Also, your child is watching you. If you’re on your phone during meal times, your child will think it’s acceptable behavior to watch a show on their iPad at the dining table. If you’re scrolling endlessly on Instagram or Facebook while talking to your child, you can expect that they will return the favor to you someday! So remember, role modeling is important and use technology the way you want your children to.
Good Practices / Tips
- Rule of thumb to tell your child: Be safe, responsible, and respectful with online use and technology. Just as you would want your child to be safe, responsible, and respectful in the classroom or playground, the same rules apply to the digital world.
- Agree on a set of ground rules for technology and online use. This includes asking for permissions to download apps and agreeing on how much screen time is appropriate, depending on the type of screen time (discussed above). Be prepared to revisit this topic again and again as your children grow and circumstances change.
- According to sources, the average age that a child will be first exposed to pornography or adult content online is at 11 years of age. Sometimes this can occur simply by accident if a child is searching online for a particular term or phrase. Instead of waiting for it to happen when you least expect it, have a preemptive chat with your child. Remind them that if they see something inappropriate online, they should turn it off immediately and then inform you.
- Encourage them to think before they post - what may feel like a harmless joke or funny photo could be something that they regret posting later or embarrassing or hurtful to someone.
- Making good choices online can be challenging for people of all ages, and we all make mistakes. Be present for your child and keep an eye on their online activity. Together you can unearth cool learning discoveries or concerns which can be addressed early on.
- Create regular screen-free times as a family (e.g., meal times or evenings where you play boardgames) to bond and connect without digital distractions.
- If you are using your phone in front of your child, name it. That means, identify what you’re doing so that they know you’re not ghosting on them or losing interest when they’re talking to you. I often do this. For example, if we are talking about catching a movie together, I pull out my phone and say “I’m looking up movie timings so that we can plan our weekend ahead”.
- Keep devices in plain sight. Create a “digital station” or “phone zone” for charging all devices and for identifying a common area for your kids to return their devices once done (before bedtime, etc).
Resources
Be informed- Common Sense Media is a great source for families providing reviews and recommendations around video games, TV shows, movies, and technology
- Screen time function shows how much time you’ve spent on your iPhone or iPad and also enables setting of limits
- Three finger swipe allows you to see other open windows and apps
- Apple products (iPhone, iPad)
- Youtube Kids
- Google Kids Space (software for Android tablets)
- Google Safe Search (filters explicit content from your Google Search)
- Flipaclip - tutorial
- Stopmotion - tutorial
- iMovie - tutorial
- Book Creator Journal
- Minecraft - how it can be educational for kids
- Roblox - for educational purposes
About the Author
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